Dawn's Psalm 3

PSALM 3
My heart has grown weary,
  Of fighting this fight;
My soul has grown tired of the path
  You are asking me to walk.

I am such a greedy glutton,
  Taking what I think
Is mine to take;
  Taking what I think I deserve.

But there is little satisfaction
  In the taking right now;
Leaving me stuck in the swirling mire
  Of my perceived failures.

Nothing works anymore.
  I can see only failure after failure:
I can no longer make any good choice
  Without your merciful help.

Nothing seems to break through the lies,
  Even compliments become quickly
Twisted into words of condemnation.
  My soul feels worthless.

Why aren’t you giving me
  The good things I want?
Why aren’t you letting me
  Have the things I so rightly desire?

When will this struggle ever end?
  Will you ever choose to relieve me
Of my painful circumstances?
  I don’t know what to do.

I want to get up and flee this place.
  Tell me what direction should I to go in;
Tell me you have a better plan.
  I can only plead for you to save me

You open my eyes to truth.
  You bring peace to my soul.
You see past the lies in my head,
  To the deeper parts within me.

When I least expect it,
  You come and surprise me.
You show up to answer
  The truest prayers of my heart:

You ask me to stay the course;
  And to live despite my pain;
You ask me to carry others
  And to love despite my struggle.

You are a merciful, loving God.
  You soften my hardened heart.
You look on me with great tenderness
  And point me in the right direction.

A friend challenged me to write a Psalm last week as a way in which to record an event where God recently showed up. I am grateful to have had a chance to write a few words to describe it.