Holding Nothing Back - Ryan Stevenson

Sleepless in Winona Lake

I guess I am not sleeping much tonight... it is 12:09 a.m., I am awake thinking and wondering what the future holds. A different job? different housing? relationships?

A line from Natalie Grant's song Hurricane keeps popping into my head, "Step out on the edge... Don't be afraid of it... And when you feel the rain... Call His name... He'll find you in the hurricane." She wrote the song after reading in Matthew 14 about how Jesus walked on the water during a storm. Jesus chose to walk through the storm. The disciples were afraid and doubted his presence. I am clinging to that truth, that he will reach me in this storm despite my fear and doubts.

What does it mean to walk faithfully in these days of uncertainty? What does it mean to believe that this painful path is the path to life?  Step out on the edge... Don't be afraid of it... Really? Most of the time my focus is on the fear, but perhaps it should be more on the moving. Maybe the difference is made in each single step.

Matthew 14:22-32
²² Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³ After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴ and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.²⁵ Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶ When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”²⁹ “Come,” he said.Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³ Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” 

Poverty

Our Poverty, God's Dwelling Place

How can we embrace poverty as a way to God when everyone around us wants to become rich?   Poverty has many forms.  We have to ask ourselves:  "What is my poverty?"  Is it lack of money, lack of emotional stability, lack of a loving partner, lack of security, lack of safety, lack of self-confidence?  Each human being has a place of poverty.  That's the place where God wants to dwell!  "How blessed are the poor," Jesus says (Matthew 5:3).  This means that our blessing is hidden in our poverty.

We are so inclined to cover up our poverty and ignore it that we often miss the opportunity to discover God, who dwells in it.   Let's dare to see our poverty as the land where our treasure is hidden.     (Taken from Henri Nouwen Society's Daily Meditation - August 18, 2013)

By this definition "lack of money, lack of emotional stability, lack of a loving partner, lack of security, lack of safety, lack of self-confidence?" I am extremely impoverished. But, perhaps this is a large opportunity to discover God or a opportunity to discover a large God.

Clinging to God's Promises

Psalm 31:7-9

I will be glad and rejoice in your love,

    for you saw my affliction
    and knew the anguish of my soul.
You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
    but have set my feet in a spacious place.

Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;
    my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
    my soul and body with grief.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, 

    “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, 

    plans to give you hope and a future. 

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, 

    and I will listen to you. 

You will seek me and find me 

    when you seek me with all your heart.