You deserve to be happy?

I saw this Facebook ad earlier today as I was scrolling down my wall. A couple of things about this particular ad struck me. Initially I was quite taken back by the idea of internet counseling. Emotions and intent are so hard when you can't see a face. But then I thought that there is a whole group of hurting isolated people out there that are solely on the internet. So if this is a stepping stone toward someone getting help then I think it could be a good thing. But only if the person is encouraged to build face-to-face relationships.

The other thing that struck me was the catch phrase, "you deserve to be happy." I don't know if it is the word deserve or the word happy, or perhaps the two put together. Do I feel like I deserve to be happy? or maybe a better way to say it is, Where do I feel like I deserve to be happy? What do I think being happy should look like? 

It seems like it demands some of life's circumstances to change. What if they don't change? What if life keeps throwing lemons at you? If life doesn't change, then where does true happiness come from? 

Doesn't it come from knowing that there is something bigger going on than my pain, and in the middle of it all there is a God who loves me unconditionally. I think I would like this add better if it said, "You can find the true source of your happiness." 

Kelsey Grammer's on Forgiveness & God

I found this video while looking for something else. It is worth watching.

The Importance of Lineage

Recently I have been watching quite a few episodes of Who Do You Think You Are? on YouTube. Last night I watched the UK episode for Patsy Kensit. She has a most interesting story.

Patsy’s parents are now both deceased and she knew very little of her family’s history. Her father James was associated with organized crime. They were two main organized crime families in the UK at the time and her father did business with both families. While her father did time in prison, her mother was left to take care of her and her brother James on her own.

Patsy was curious about her father’s parents and found that her grandfather James Sr., was also in and out of prison for theft & robbery while her father was a child. Finding this out was very discouraging for Patsy, leaving her to wonder if criminal activity was going to be a normal pattern in her family’s history.

Her grandfather James Sr., was the son of Thomas James Kensit. He was found to be the illegitimate son of James Dennis and Sarah Ann Kensit, who never married. Sarah Ann’s father was Thomas Kensit, who was a walking stick maker. Thomas helped raise his grandson and taught him the trade of being a walking stick maker too. This was a respectable trade to have, but when machines started to do this type of work faster and cheaper, it pushed the whole family into desperate poverty.

It was found that Thomas James Kensit’s biological father was James Dennis. James Dennis’ father James Dennis Sr. was a well-known and well-loved Sexton of Beckenham church.

The Beckenham church historian let Patsy read his obituary. She was so moved by the fact that a man related to her was so well respected in the church. Her emotional was so overwhelming that she could barely put a sentence together amidst the tears.

It made me wonder how a man’s choices several generations back could still affect the generations ahead of him. Do my choices today matter to people living 150 or 200 years from now?  My view is so narrow and small.

We know that Thomas James Kensit’s father was James Dennis and that his mother was Sarah Anne Kensit, the daughter of Thomas Kensit and Melissa Mayne. Melissa Mayne, was the daughter of the Rev. James Mayne. The Rev. James Mayne was the Curate of the St. Matthews Bethnal Green church. The parish had 62,000 parishioners, most of which were destitute.

While serving at St. Matthews, he baptized, married and buried people in large numbers. He set up a school and also started a relief fund for the destitute and poor. He even went to the royal family and requested money to help the large number of poor in Bethnal Green. He was quite a remarkable man who crusaded for his parishioners.

James Mayne was given an honorary Master of Arts Lambeth Degree in Divinity from the Arch Bishops of Canterbury. He went on to become a Vicar in a country church, dying while still serving. 

What a wonderful legacy.

I can’t help but wonder if having a wider picture of our historical heritage does something for us. Does it offer a better foundation? Does it give us better perspective? A bigger picture?

Sometimes it feels hard to get past our more current histories, or past one or two generations. These are most likely the relatives we have actually met. We know or have heard about their good and bad choices and often about their parents good and bad choices. But it is a very small part of larger story, maybe even the story of all human beings.

I do wonder how much this genealogical journey changed Patsy. How did she see herself when she was growing up? How did her father being in prison affect her relationally? How does her being married 4 times fit into the whole thing?

Her Wikipedia bio says that she started going to the Catholic Church after her mother died of breast cancer in 1993. Has she struggled with feeling like she belongs there? Does her knowledge that there are at least two very strong God-believing patriarchs in her lineage change anything for her?

I know that I have Quakers in my lineage. And I know that a few were imprisoned for their beliefs. It is why they came to America, for religious freedom. Does that change how I view my life? In a way it does. Their faith was strong and they moved despite the hardships that came along with it. That same strength is deep within me too. Is that DNA or the story of all humans?

Isn’t that why the Israelites were taught to remember? To look back at their lineage and see the choices their ancestors made. Not just the good choices either, because the bad choices can show us just as much as the good ones.