A couple of Sunday's ago at church we sing, "Jesus lover of my soul, all-consuming fire is in your gaze." I felt stopped in my tracks by those words. Did I really believe what I was singing?
I wondered recently what that really looks like, what that really feels like. I can't even imagine someone having that much desire for me. I wondered how I would live differently if I really did live my life knowing the deeper passionate love of God for me.
The recovery of passion is intimately connected with astonishment. We are swept up by the overwhelming face of mystery. Self-consciousness evaporates in the presence of what Rudolph Otto called "mysterium tremendum." The transcendent God overtakes us and overcomes us. Such an experience may wash over our consciousness like a gentle tide saturating the mind and heart in a tranquil spirit of profound adoration. Awe, wonder, and amazement induce speechless humility. We have a brief glimpse of the God we never dreamed existed. - Abba's Child - Brennan Manning
Recently I caught a brief glimpse of God's transcendence in a conversation with a friend over breakfast. In became clear to me later that when I chose to live out of my belovedness, when I believed that I am wanted, pursued and loved, it pushed away the lies for a moment. And in that moment as I talked with my friend, I was in touch with my true self, a loved child of God. What a wondrous, crazy thing!I am in awe of God's relentless love: His pursuit of something deeper in my heart that one day may hopefully free me fully to love others as passionately as He loves me. All this despite the terror I feel when I allow myself to be vulnerable and loved deeply. May I keep turning back to Him and bending my knee to His healing hand knowing a better day is ahead.
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