Advent Thoughts

I found myself really intrigued by the Thomas Merton quote that Kathleen Norris uses in her discussion of the Annunciation. The thought that there is a part of me, an untouched virgin part of me that belongs entirely to God, is so mysteriously drawing to me. No matter how hard I work at trying to touch that part of my soul only He can come to know me there.

So what must I do to stay in the mystery of this relationship, “to be virgin” as Kathleen Norris puts it? Give up trying to control the circumstances of my life. Give up trying to see the bigger picture that I am obviously not privy to seeing. Like Mary I need to simply say, “Here am I” and then patiently wait for God’s glory to grow inside of me. As Loretta Ross-Gotta says, “Be a womb. Be a dwelling for God. Be surprised.”

Much like Mary I have Christ inside of me. Obviously, I am not giving birth to human life, but I can birth life into others around me. Christ came to earth to redeem me and because I have been redeemed by his birth I can now help to birth redemption in the lives of others. In this way Christ’s birth continues to be a miraculous birth.

So this Advent despite feeling impatient and empty, I find that I really do long to stop and wait patiently in his presence, to stand in the mystery of God. I long to let go of trying to figure out why life isn’t what I long for it to be, especially in these hard days. I long to be a womb so that his presence can grow inside of me; I long to be virgin.

(See "To Be Virgin" entry below)